I’m writing this on January 1, the time to make all those resolutions for the new year that honestly, are destined to fail. You can read many posts on the internet about why resolutions fail. Most will focus on lack of willpower or a good action plan, or lack of discipline or maybe there is something wrong with the goals themselves.
I think it is more foundational than that. Most resolutions made come from a desire for self-improvement. What’s wrong with self-improvement? It implies you need to be fixed. You aren’t acceptable right now. It comes from a place of lack, limitation and being flawed. “When I meet my weight loss, fitness, meditation, or productivity goals, then I will feel good about myself.” (Image credit: Tim Mossholder, www.unsplash.com)
The heart knows the way. Run in that direction. – Rumi
Resolutions often fail because deep down many people don’t believe they are worth it or have the capability to obtain their aspirations. Or we set goals based on something external, something you think you don’t have already “ I should look a certain way, be rich, happy, etc. When you come from a place of self-improvement, when does it end? At what point do you say, I’m done, I’m good enough? From this belief or perspective, why bother even trying? I was hooked on self-improvement for years “ all in the name of health and wellness. I had to know the perfect diet, exercise plan, yoga pose, etc. I couldn’t really get healthy until I dropped the lists of self-improvement goals and focused on self-acceptance and balance.What if you came from a place of self-acceptance, right now? What if you knew what you truly desire is already within you? Despite all your imagined inadequacies and flaws, what if in this moment you accept yourself, give yourself a hug and relax? If this is allowed, a creative energy will bubble up “ a nudge from deep within pointing you to a desire. From here, an intention emerges that is aligned with your highest good. Maybe a desire emerges for peace or courage or connection. These qualities are like seeds of potential within you. An intention flows from this desire, for example:
- I intend to stay calm during my work day.
- I intend to speak my truth.
- I intend to extend my self to make more social connections.
This intention then becomes a compass for directing your actions. Your soul wants to experience the fullness of life and learn and grow through challenges. The personality can get in the way as its agenda is usually based on fear and survival. This is where getting real comes in. Look honestly at what’s behind the obstacles to living the life you really want. Opportunities for healing come up as you discover parts of you that don’t align with your highest intentions. These parts may be carrying old wounds or trauma that are somehow related to you moving forward. That healing can free you from the obstacles that sabotage the best of efforts.
Intention setting is about creating what you want. Make room for what you desire instead of taking on a laborious project. The flower grows naturally given enough nurturing through water, sun, nutrients and pulling weeds, right?
Start your new year with an honest look at where you are, and where you want to go and what you want to create. Schedule a free consult to learn how I can help you realize your potential and listen to the call of your heart. Image credit: Heidi Fin, www.unsplash.com.